Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t friends?

Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t friends?

“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and some other phrases and words are among a small number of words that foreigners simply in Korea learn and one of them can be the phrase chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this term in their sentences that are english doubt and employ it seemingly without understanding just what it means. This will be probably certainly one of my minimum favorite terms in Korean and I’ll explain why.

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Some years back, I was using Korean classes four days per week for four hours each day. I happened to be devouring just as much as I could associated with language because I happened to be dating a Korean man, most of my friends were Korean and undoubtedly I happened to be staying in Korea and I also wished to make life just a little easier. Before you take the classes, I became hesitant and weary of the thing I perceived as forced respect inside the rules regarding the language, elements of the language that force us to show a respect that I might not need for someone. Just because individuals are older doesn’t suggest they always deserve respect and also at that point I’d held it’s place in sufficient situations to understand that a number of, frequently, guys just assumed in numerous ways that I should be respectful of them even though they disrespected me. Through the classes, I discovered simple tips to show my disapproval whenever being disrespected without being downright rude and I also learned just how to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the primary lessons we learned, nonetheless, had been that We have very nearly no “friends” in Korea. (From here in out “friend” in parenthesis would be the Korean kind of buddy while a friend that is freestanding end up being the English variation.)

My better half, boyfriend at that time, and I also decided to have a meet up at the house and invited our close friends that are korean. There were about 10 of us all over dining table and I ended up being the only foreigner in the spot. As of this point, I’d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of their buddies for a great 4 or 5 years as well as in my native tongue, we would phone them my buddies. Following the food ended up being completed plus the dishes picked up, I thought a game could be enjoyable. Taking what I’d discovered from class on the best way to call someone by title, we stated, “So-yung-a, do you wish to play a game title?” utilizing the lower type of the language. I’d been confidence that is gaining the language and deploying it whenever i really could. There was clearly an audible gasp and after a matter of seconds 1stclassdating how does work of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two of this more aggressively conservative people in the group said i really couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.

Buddy 1: So-yung is avove the age of you might be.

Buddy 2: You can’t state “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than she actually is.

Me personally: We’re friends though.

Friend 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.

Me: What do you really mean? I’ve known her for a long time. She is had by me telephone number within my phone. She is seen by me a whole lot. We have been friends and my guide says that is an appropriate ending for a buddy.

Friend 2: No, you can’t be friends than you are because she is older.

Me personally: we don’t determine what you’re saying.

Friend 1: it is possible to simply be buddies with somebody this is the same age as your self.

Me: Well, that doesn’t make any feeling. You’re all my buddies and you are clearly all avove the age of i will be.

Friend 1: We aren’t your pals.

After that we went along to my room for just a little cry mostly because I became simply told I had no friends and in addition since the language these were making use of to convey their standpoint ended up being extremely aggressive and I also don’t handle aggressive situations perfectly. Originating from a training standpoint, aggressively attacking students for making use of a term or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever helps make the student respond in a way that is positive. Usually, the learning student will end up more fearful to utilize the language or you will need to make use of terms in the foreseeable future unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my “friends” later that We don’t assault them if they misuse a word, if it is exceptionally rude, I remind myself so it’s not their very first language and I also you will need to assist them realize why it can be taken the wrong manner. My “friends” nevertheless, are not so patient with my language purchase. I had taken some things and words in the book for granted not realizing they didn’t mean what it appeared they meant though I had excitingly read through my lesson books and went through discussions in my class. Two associated with more tolerant people in our team arrived in to relax me and explain in nicer terms what everybody else had gotten so upset about.

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